Opposites Don’t Always Attract

Photo by Raisa Habersham / VOX Staff

By Alexandria Clark / VOX Staff

I remember one day staring at my ex-boyfriend Matthew when were still a couple. I began my evaluation of him from the bottom to the top. I began staring at his fresh, crisp, new Timberlands, and then I slowly began to work my way up to his white-and-blue Roca Wear outfit. Then finally I got to his head, which, like always, was housed within a fitted New York Yankees cap, that was pulled down low just barely covering his eyes. I looked in the full-length mirror that stood directly behind him, and there I was — the total opposite of all I observed.

I was nothing like Matthew, who was my supposed other half. My mirror image staring back at me was a girl wearing dirty chucks, ripped jeans and a band T-shirt that featured an angel with blood oozing through his eyes.

I tried to see some of myself in him, but I couldn’t because the contrast was just too drastic. And it wasn’t just about the appearances. We shared none of the same interests. I am vegetarian, Matthew is a serious meat eater. I love rock, he loves rap. And more importantly, we had vastly different life values. I was against the war in Iraq, against capital punishment, and he didn’t seem to care one way or the other about them. He had no ambition, and I was driven to become an artist. He cared about only what was right in front of him, and I cared about a world beyond what I could see.

Different Strokes
I have to admit these differences were initially what I loved about him. I bought into the whole opposites attract thing. I felt like we were like two totally alien worlds coming together to explore one another. I introduced him to my favorite bands, such as Between the Buried and Me, Every Time I Die, and Walls of Jericho, and he tuned me into his love for acts such as The Diplomats and Jay Z.

After a while, the fun and excitement ceased though because of our lack of common interests. I’d want to go to my rock concerts, while Matthew preferred to go see some rap group. And although I was open to his world, he always seemed to shun mine. There would be days that I would be so excited about a new band on tour, a new book I wanted to read, even a new TV show I wanted to watch. He’d just blow me off because he didn’t share the same passion as I did for those things. One day I tried a different approach and asked him to go a concert with me. I even offered to pay for his ticket so he wouldn’t be wasting his money if he didn’t like it — but he still refused to come.

Little did I know all that was in store the night of that show, and how grateful I would be that Matthew decided not to attend. That’s the night I found the boy of my dreams — not my opposite, but rather my mirror image.

The Sound of Destiny
That night at the Masquerade, some of my all-time favorite bands were playing, and although my boyfriend wasn’t with me I felt as though life couldn’t get any better. I lost myself in the craziness and the chaos of the concert. The air was filled with hardcore guitars and dreams that mingled with the screams of the crowd. Everyone was rocking out to the music and pushing each other toward the mosh pit.

But then, for me, suddenly everything came to a halt. The music slowed down, the crowd vanished, and all there was left was me and this giant of a man. He seemed to be three times my height and four times my size, and he was about to fall right on me. For an instant, I pictured him knocking me down, breaking my neck and killing me right then and there. But then out of nowhere came this cute, tall, adorable boy with dreads, who caught this giant before he crushed me. In a daze, I stared stupidly (hopefully not at him, but I can’t recall), amazed at my rescue and the boy I saw standing before me. Then suddenly I heard a voice ask me, “Your boyfriend’s not going to get mad?” To which I could only reply, “My boyfriend’s not here.”

Then suddenly I was back where I started — the music was blasting, the crowd was rowdy and my adrenaline was pumping, like the incident never happened. But then I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I turned around to find my hero handing me a small piece of paper and a pen. He told me to write down my number and I did, without a second thought.

At the end of the night when the concert was winding down, I finally got a chance to talk a little to my rescuer, whose name was Jeremy. It wasn’t enough though. Just after our friends started to leave and we said some rushed goodbyes, he called me on my phone as I was still in the Masquerade parking lot. We chatted it up for hours, continuing on into the next day. I swear I didn’t know it was possible to become so close to a person in a less than 24 hours, but everything was just so perfect and right.

Over the next two weeks, Jeremy and I continued talking and getting to know each other better, and at the same time my boyfriend Matthew pretty much went AWOL — which was fine by me. Frankly, the excitement of having a new guy friend with whom I shared so much in common was so exhilarating I all but forgot about Matthew.

In Jeremy, I felt like I had gained a new best friend, a concert buddy and a twin. When I finally realized how much we shared, and how I was starting to have feelings for him, I thought to myself, Why stay with someone and be unhappy, when everything you’ve ever wanted and more is right in your face? So I decided it was time to formally end it with Matthew; he didn’t seem to be interested in our relationship anyway.

It was the best decision I ever made, because since then I have found a lover, a best friend, but most of all a new partner in crime. I love everything about our relationship. I really feel free to be myself around him. We talk about everything — rock bands, comic heroes, wrestling, even books. We have the same sense of humor, and we like to argue about silly stuff, such as why some of the bands he listens to suck — and vice versa.

The great thing is we’re just enough alike to where it works but still different enough to remain ourselves. I’m enjoying every moment I spend with this boy, and I’m going to keep rocking it out until the end, having as much fun as possible along the way. With Jeremy, I finally discovered that it’s better to be with someone you share so much in common with, rather than going after boys who are your exact opposites.

Alex is a senior at Southwest DeKalb High.