Most Guys Are Playas

By Montrese Turner / VOX Staff

Girls, don’t guys sometimes seem to be the most devious people on the planet? They lie about the smallest things, cheat on their girlfriends and manipulate the people that care most about them — including their own mothers. Most guys I know use girls like we’re toys. They are playas.

My friends and I fantasize about using guys like they use us — getting what we want from them and then getting out. In her song “Like a Boy,” Ciara sings: “Wish we could switch up the roles/And I could be that/Tell you I love you/But when you call I never get back/Would you ask them questions like me/Like where you be at?/Cuz I’m out 4 in the morning/On the corner roll’n/Doin’ my own thing.” But, unfortunately, that’s not how we girls operate. We can’t help it that we’re more mature and want real relationships. And we understand what it feels like to be hurt, so it’s difficult to walk all over guys like they walk over us.

But no matter how much effort we put into making a relationship work, the guys inevitably mess it up. At this age, they just don’t realize they can’t live without us. I want to fast forward my life to the point where they’ve grown up and are willing to take on a little responsibility, because this roller coaster ride they have us girls on is getting a little ridiculous.

I believe most guys who act like this do so because the media portrays young women as disposable items, play things who aren’t worthy of being treated like human beings. Teenage boys look at how rappers, rock stars and athletes treat girls, and they think that’s the way they should act, too.

My girlfriends and I are all at different stages in dealing with the playas in our lives.

I am on the guys-just-don’t-make-sense-stage. Basically this means that I’m frustrated that at this age boys don’t know what they want, and I am determined not to be one of their guinea pigs so they can figure it out. Life is too short for that. There’s a guy I’m dealing with currently who is “some timing” me. When it’s convenient for him to call me his girlfriend, he does just that. But when it’s not at the top of his agenda, he treats me like he doesn’t even know me.

My friend, Aleia Walker, a senior at McEachern High School, is on a guys-are-evil-and-should-be-avoided-at-all-costs stage. She feels that no matter what you do or say they will treat you like crap so just stay away. At one point she was talking to a guy — a football player — who would tell her he liked her and that he wanted to be with her, but it was all just a scheme. She ended up getting her feelings hurt badly, and now she doesn’t trust guys at all because she thinks they’re all heartless.

Another friend, Lauren Waldon, also a senior at McEachern, is more of a yeah-guys-can-hurt-you-if-you-let-them stage. She believes if you open yourself up for heartbreak, then that’s what you will receive. The same guy who was chatting up Aleia was talking to Lauren, too. But Lauren didn’t allow him to get inside her head, so he wasn’t able to play with her emotions.

If you go back and look at all these examples, one thing becomes clear to me: Guys are emotionally unconnected beings who have no sense of the consequences of their actions or inactions. OK, maybe I’m being a little unfair because I have met a few guys along the way who have treated me like a princess — unfortunately, they just weren’t my type. And I do have friends in good relationships — well, really just one. Kyra Nixon, a fellow senior at McEachern, is dating a guy who is really nice and has a heart of gold.

I’ve tried my hardest to understand exactly where guys are coming from, but nothing seems to work. I hang out with them as just friends to see them in their natural habitat. But I quickly realized that you can’t be just friends with teenage boys. They say they just want to be your friend, but that’s just another way they play you.

Montrese is a senior at McEachern High.