Looking for Love?
Reasons Why I'm Not

Photo Illustration by Raven Hathcock| VOX Staff

By Seth Langer
VOX Staff

So I was hanging out with my friend Lucy* the other day in my basement, owning Wii Tennis. She was sitting on my futon and we were chit-chatting, gossiping and criticizing our friends’ bad choices in relationships. After going through the list of bad boyfriends and girlfriends, Lucy told me she was desperately trying to find a man.

“A boyfriend? Goodness! Why?” I asked her. Lucy is a dancer and artist with dirty blonde hair and bright green eyes who enjoys going to the movies in her pajamas, watching “Alias” and hanging out with me. Even though her silly side shows in pretty much all of her many Facebook pictures, if she wants to be taken seriously, she makes sure it happens. A strong woman — isn’t that what every guy wants? I couldn’t understand why she would be looking so hard for a guy. But after thinking for a few minutes, she blurted out, laughing, “Because I don’t have one.” Then she shared that she’s had few romantic experiences with guys.

Beginning when we are little, we’re expected to find romance and fall in love. I’m not sure why — maybe because people think finding love automatically means finding happiness. I guess when you compare the definition of love to what we see in romantic comedies, jewelry commercials and Shakespearean poetry, we all equate love to happiness. But I’ve seen relationships crash and burn too many times in real life. People have a hard enough time making it through a platonic relationship, much less a romantic one. Being in a romantic relationship takes time and work, both of which teenagers aren’t necessarily the best at, and the movies don’t often show the ugly side of romance.

Like Lucy, I’ve noticed many teenagers put a huge amount of energy into finding romance. And although many adults do as well, teens should be more concerned with other things, like getting a good education. Lucy’s a senior; rather than worrying about boys, she should be focusing on grades and going to college, for instance. I mean, I’m only a junior and I’m already freaking out about my chances of getting into a decent college.

But I won’t act like I don’t understand why people get distressed about not having a partner. No one wants to be alone, and a lot of times relationships can be exciting and fun. Yet I don’t think love or romance should be the main focus of a teen relationship. Teenage love comes with too much drama, and we should be finding out what we really want so that when we start life in the real world, we will be ready to start a future with someone we truly love.

I’m not going to worry and give in to the pressure of needing a relationship. Being with someone is just not important to me right now. I’m going to finish off my high school years having fun. And if I happen to stumble across someone, that’s great. But I just have too much homework to go out looking for that person.

Seth is a junior at DeKalb School of the Arts, and he’s a hopeless romantic.

*Name changed