Single Moms Need Love Too!
Showing My Mom the Love She Deserves

Photo Illustration by Lauren Phillips, Ni-Ka Ford and Morgan Gardner | VOX Staff

By Fenell Wilikins
VOX Staff

Instead of spending Valentine's Day with a significant other, I spend time with my mother, spoiling her with hugs and kisses to let her know that she's the most important person in my life. My single mom needs my love because she works very hard to keep food on the table and provide for my two siblings and me. I always enjoy spending Valentine's Day with her instead of with a boyfriend because it eliminates a lot of stress that comes from having to buy the right presents for a guy who probably wouldn't even go out of his way to get me anything.

My mother inspires me because she didn’t get the best of things as a child growing up in Liberia, a third-world country in Africa, but she lives life to the fullest by always dreaming big. Yet, it's heartbreaking to see her work so hard just to make sure we don't go without what we need. Watching her struggle reminds me not to rush to become a parent.

My Crazy Theory of Love Day
Growing up I always thought Valentine's Day was only meant to celebrate romantic love between couples. Many times I’ve watched peers in relationships give or receive flowers, go on dates or trade cards on Valentine's Day. Each year when I didn't receive a gift or card, I felt left out. Now, I focus on the love that is consistent in my life, and that love comes from my mother.

I finally realized the importance of Valentine's Day three years ago when my mother was nine months pregnant with my brother. We had just celebrated my late grandmother's birthday on Feb. 10, and I was really missing her. Thinking about my grandmother’s passing made me appreciate the great relationship I have with my mother. I wondered what it would be like to celebrate Valentine's Day in a way that showed my mom that I love her and appreciate all the sacrifices she makes for me. So I gave her a massage and made her a beautiful white card with big red hearts to let her know I love her from the bottom of my heart. Even though I didn't have money to buy her a gift, she was really grateful and told me how much she appreciated what I did.

A Strong Woman
In society, there are so many negative stereotypes about single mothers. Some people think all single moms are on welfare and that they put themselves first and their children last. My mother doesn't fit into any of those stereotypes. She always tells me she doesn't have any regrets about raising us by herself. She loves us and nurtures us like any good mother would care for her children.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing glorious about not having a father at home. As a young girl, growing up without my dad's love caused me emotional pain and left me with a lot of questions. In fact, I often wonder what it would be like if my father was in my life. I feel like he should be present, spending quality time with me instead of having my mother do all the hard work alone, but having my mother fill in as Mrs. Daddy is impressive because instead of wondering why my dad acts as if he doesn’t care, I know my mommy will always be there for me. That's why my hat goes off to my mother who juggles managing her own company, working full-time at a hospital plus running our household. Her hard work inspires me to stay focused. I will always be her Valentine — the one to talk to her, comfort her or just be in her corner.

Fenell is a junior at Open Campus High. She plans to get out of the house more often and have fun.