How to Enjoy Single-dom

Photo illustration by Justin Tuitt | VOX Staff

By Breanna J. McDaniel | VOX Staff

In January, I rang in the New Year with a movie all by myself. There was liberation in saying to the cashier, “‘Dream Girls’ please. Yes, just one ticket.” I enjoyed the movie all by myself and loved the fact that I was going to be able to make 2007 my year — even without a boyfriend.

Besides the terror that ran through my heart at remembering my college applications were due, I felt a wonderful satisfaction in knowing that, although I was without a relationship for the New Year, I was not going to be consumed by my loneliness. For my New Year’s resolution I vowed that I would try dating myself (I got this from a magazine) and enjoy the fact that while others would be bogged down by a relationship I could bask in the joy of living single. However, by Jan. 3, that feeling was gone, and I was contemplating throwing my shoe at a couple snuggled together on the train.

So, the basking in singleness did not really work out to become anything significant, but I did learn something about myself as I thought about my high school career and the lack of relationships during this time. I realized that I have had some of the best times in my life all because I have time to spend with friends, jobs, internships and all the other activities I enjoy. I have had a few boyfriends but never for very long. And therefore I have no priorities beyond the ones I create for myself. When I dress up, it is for me. When I keep it casual (I do this often), it is for me. And when I exercise to fit into my prom dress, it is because I want to be a better, healthier Breanna — for me! My epiphany on Jan. 3 was that I have had the time to work on truly becoming a better person, because I am doing it for myself instead of a guy I want to keep.

When I was a part of a relationship I always felt this pressure to be the girlfriend of my boyfriend’s dreams, and now I realize from the brevity of those relationships — and all that they took from me — that being someone else’s supercoolverysweetawesomelyaccomadating Breanna sucked! Now I have been living the single life and loving it. And I would love to give you a few pointers on how to keep your single status from dragging you down:

• Invest In Your Friends: The most important thing I have learned in my 18 years of life is that more often than not friends will be there even a when boo is not. So even if you are in a relationship do not alienate your friends. If you and your boo break up, you will be doubly lonely. Plus, being single gives time to explore friendships more thoroughly and create bonds that really last. Going out with friends will always be easier without a honey who might want you all to himself.

• Learn To Go-Kart: Driving these little vehicles is so much fun and so liberating. For those singles out there who cannot drive (ahem), it is just awesome to be behind a wheel of some sort. On the track it is all about speed. Plus, my mind is not on my relationship status but on the dude easing up on my right trying to beat me to the finish line. Go-Karting is mindless, which in turn can be a break from thinking about how you are not in a relationship. If Go-Karting is not your thing, try going to a batting cage or seriously sitting down to enjoy a good book — anything to get your focus off being single. Bonus: When you do find a boo, Go-Karting makes for a great date.

• Go to the Movies — Alone: The deal is that at first you will feel a little awkward if you are used to going out all the time with others. But eventually you will get used to being out alone. You can laugh as loud as you want and not worry about your friends shushing you. If your phone rings by accident, you can pretend it is someone else’s, because your friend is not saying loudly, “Girl, I think that’s you!”

• Don’t Be Afraid to Be The Fifth Wheel: This can be a little tricky because you do not want to be the one person between two couples doing couple things like smooching and canoodling, but it can be very interesting going out with a couple or two. Looking at relationships from the outside can provide insight that will be awesome for when you get back in the dating game.

• Give Yourself a “Me, Myself and I” Night Every Now and Then: I know you are probably thinking, “Every night I’m alone is a ‘Me, Myself and I Night.’” But the opportunity to focus on pampering yourself is not presented often, so ladies hit up the home spa — or the real spa if you have the money — and spend some quality time with your friends Manicure, Pedicure and Massage. I do not think I have to tell the guys that an all-night Halo II marathon is the male counterpart for just chilling and relaxing.

Now, I am not saying being single is always a blast, but being single can be very fun and also the best way to get to know yourself before you get yourself wrapped up in someone else’s life. Now I know I can go to college happy with myself and even satisfied with being single — even if I occasionally want to throw a shoe at a cuddling couple.

Breanna is a senior at Creekside High in Fairburn who, despite being single, is living life like it’s golden and really looking forward to going away to college.