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Top Ten List
Ways to Have Fun at Wal-Mart
10. Grab a couple of the complimentary electric wheelchairs and race around
the store. Bonus points for whoever knocks over the most displays.
9. Take out your cell phone and pretend your significant other is breaking
up with you right then and there. Be as emotional as possible.
8. Hide in the clothes racks and then jump out at
random people exclaiming “Always Low Prices!”
7. Bring in your own DVD, fold-up chair and bag of popcorn and
watch a movie on one of their big screen TVs. If any clerks
ask you to stop, tell them you put that particular TV on layaway.
6. Program all the clocks and watches
to go off in five-minute intervals.
5. Declare war on all other shoppers by
wielding rolls of gift wrap against them.
4. Whenever an announcement comes on over the intercom, scream
out “Not those voices again!” and run out of the store. (If you come
back in and act like nothing happened, you get extra credit.)
3. Go up to a clerk and ask for an imaginary new item (e.g. “Spoodle”) that you saw on aisle five just the day before. When he can’t find it, ask him to look in the back. When he comes back, make sure you’re gone because he’s gonna be sore mad.
2. Practice your gymnastic moves in the aisles
while singing the theme to “Mission: Impossible.”
1. Sneak into the employee area and clock in random workers.
That’s taking it to “The Man,” and meanwhile the employees
will thank you in their prayers for the extra cash in their paychecks.
Brainstormed by Justin Truitt, Nia Milner, Lauren Phillips,
Keosha Morgan, Reuben Buchanan and Raisa Habersham | VOX Staff.
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