Extra! Extra!

Yet again, I’m here to sort through a month’s worth of news and give you the low down on what you might have missed. I’m like VH1’s “Best Week Ever,” written just for teenagers. (In case you’re reading, VH1 executives, I’m graduating this spring and could use some money.)

• Google is being sued by Viacom. Why? Because YouTube, which Google bought not so long ago for $1.65 billion, hosts lots of copyrighted material on the site owned by Viacom. And Viacom owns Comedy Central, MTV, Nickelodeon and DreamWorks Pictures. So every time you watch a clip of “The Colbert Report” or “South Park” on YouTube, Viacom loses precious advertising dollars that keep the $25 billion media powerhouse afloat. I’d suggest watching all your favorite clips now — it certainly seems likely that (if they weren’t submitted by Joe Schmo) they’re going to get yanked. If Viacom wins the case, you can bet other media companies are going to go after their clips, too.

• If the Federal Government doesn’t step in soon, then Georgia’s PeachCare program is going to get cut. PeachCare, for those of you who don’t know, is our state’s way of insuring children who otherwise wouldn’t have health insurance, and therefore are able to afford doctor’s visits. Gov. Sonny Perdue is up at Capitol Hill as we publish this issue of VOX, asking the big wigs for money to continue PeachCare. However, the budget bill that includes PeachCare’s funding also includes a resolution about taking the troops out of Iraq before September 2008 — and the money that PeachCare has to share (some $124 million) could be used for the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, among other causes. And, in fact, it’s things like Perdue’s “Go Fish Georgia” tourism program that have caused the Georgia House and Senate to delay the bill’s passing. There’s nothing funny about this one. Nothing whatsoever. So stop looking for a punchline. Seriously. I’m for real, there is no punchline. Move on to the next bulletin.

• Russia is being awesome, and for more than merely producing ridiculously good looking tennis players (e.g., Elena Bovina, Ekaterina Bychkova, Maria Kirilenko and of course, Anna Kournikova) and wonderfully evil James Bond villains. Russia had sent technical engineers to help Iran with its nuclear enrichment program, but recently has been pulling them out because Iran has not been paying the Russians on time. But that’s not the only reason. Our former Cold War enemy has also felt the international pressure to halt Iran’s nuclear enrichment program and decided to help out those worried about Iran’s potential for developing nuclear weapons. Iran responded to Russia’s actions by giving a firm “We will do whatever we please, thanks so much.” In cutting ties with Iran’s nuclear program, Russia put extra pressure on Iran to sit down and talk with the United Nations about stopping their atomic aspirations.

• In more nuclear news, North Korea has (essentially) agreed to begin international talks about stopping its nuclear development program, but on one condition: A $25 million bank account to which the United States froze access must be released back into North Korean power. Our country froze the account because we thought it was being used for illegal dealings, and North Korea has promised to use it for humanitarian projects when it is unfrozen. In fact, it’s even more positive than that, because North Korea (dubbed to be part of the “Axis of Evil” by U.S. President George W. Bush) has already promised to disengage one of its nuclear reactors should it receive some money and some promises of security. It makes me hopeful that North Korea is doing something for world peace; it seems like the country is taking a real step forward. Although, you have to worry about any country whose military is the fourth largest in the world and consists approximately 1/17th of its population.

• For our last piece, we have some real big news, pun completely, totally and fully intended. The Airbus A380, the world’s biggest passenger airplane — it seats 555 people, as compared to Boeing’s 747 at 223 people — made its first appearance on U.S. soil last month, when one landed in New York after a direct flight from Frankfurt, Germany. It’s a big deal because Airbus is Boeing’s only competitor when it comes to mega airplanes, and with Boeing’s new passenger jet slated to come out in 2010, Airbus has already got a transatlantic flight under its belt. Five hundred is a lot of people. The sentences below consist of 500 letters, not including the spaces in between the words. Imagine one person for each letter, then take them and put them in a double-decker plane, and you’ll have one Airbus. It keeps going on, and, in fact, I have run out of things to say, but I already attempted to get this point across, dear reader, and to emphasize I must continue to have you imagine each letter represent a person. There goes one, wait, three for the word “one,” and another few more each time. I just reached four hundred and thirty five and wait, we’re almost done. There, now we’re done. And that’s still short 50 or so words, folks. I can’t believe you read this whole thing.

By Barry Langer | VOX Staff