The Flip Side of Peer Pressure

By Raisa Habersham/VOX Staff

I woke up in the hotel with the sun streaming through the windows and the promise of another glorious morning spent away from home. It was day two of a three-day college tour, and I had traveled to Durham, N.C. with a group of other rising juniors and seniors this past summer. I couldn’t have been happier. Unfortunately, what I hoped would be another day of adventure quickly turned gloomy.

After eating breakfast in the lobby of the Comfort Suites Inn, rumors began to swirl that two boys had been escorted from our tour group the previous night due to rule violations. My peers were upset about this development, and their anger focused on a third person in our group — Brian Summers*, a preppy African-American boy who tried too hard to fit in with us. Many in our group were labeling him a snitch, but I didn’t quite know why.

Brian sat at a table by himself, looking a bit shaken up and showing little interest in his food. My friend Fatematuz and I approached him cautiously to find out what had happened. He was hesitant to speak at first, claiming he didn’t want to talk about it. Despite how dejected he was, Brian finally relented and told us what happened the night before, in the hopes he could find someone who might see the situation from his point of view.

Brian had got caught up in a game of peer pressure — a game he tried not to play but wound up ultimately losing. Instead of protecting his peers, he decided to do what he thought was right and told our chaperones that two of our fellow students had brought a gun and some drugs on the trip. Of course, he made the right decision. However, most people in our group didn’t think so. His positive choice resulted in whispered threats and outright shunning. No one — not even those of us that thought he had done the right thing — came to his defense.

What happened to Brian demonstrates both sides of peer pressure. On one side, Brian faced extreme negative pressure from the group for getting the more popular students sent home. However, at the same time, he could have been saved from this harassment by some positive peer pressure. Perhaps if someone could have taken the time and stood up to the group, Brian wouldn’t have suffered for his decision, and he might have even felt good about what he did.

Most of our time is spent on discussing the negatives of peer pressure — the temptation from your friends to do drugs, join gangs, drink alcohol, skip class and other things you probably shouldn’t do. We often forget about how good peer pressure can make a positive impact on us teens. Not only can we be motivated by our peers to turn away from negative behaviors, but we also can be encouraged to do positive things ranging from studying harder to getting involved in our community to standing up for those who need it.

The Power of Positivity
I personally have been affected by positive peer pressure. It wasn’t too long ago that I found myself not doing well in school. I talked on the phone every day, never studied for tests and rarely did homework. I also had issues at home that complicated matters. Overall, I had slowly lost my motivation to succeed. I wasn’t ranked anywhere near the top of my class, and it was painful for me because I wanted to do well.

Luckily, all I had to do was look around me and see how most of my friends were succeeding in school. They were where I wanted to be academically, ranked in the top ten percent. I used their example to get back on track, and I worked hard every day from then on to improve my grades. By my sophomore year, I reached the top ten percent of my class, and I have my friends to thank for motivating me to do it through their positive peer pressure.

Like me, DeShell Brown, 17, a senior at Mays High School, also has grown greatly by giving in to positive peer pressure. She said she would have never joined Kappa Pearls — an organization for young ladies with good character who volunteer in metro Atlanta — if her friends hadn’t pushed her. When DeShell’s friends told her that she could receive community service hours and that it would look good on her college applications, she immediately joined. In the process, she learned how much of a difference she could make through community activism. “I gained a sense of discipline and respect for others’ ideas,” DeShell said.

Chris Dixon, 17, a senior at Stone Mountain High School, said he always tries to encourage people to move in the right direction, no matter how big or small the situation. “I always strive to make people do what they don’t want to do but should do,” Chris said. “I encouraged my friend to get a job that she really needed, but originally didn’t want.” Surrounding yourself with the right people is a good thing, as opposed to hanging out with slackers or gang bangers, which could land you out of school or worse.

Cliques That Click
The stereotypes formed about cliques are clichéd. Most cliques today still follow the standard “jocks and jills” versus the geeks. However, there are many subsets that break cliques down even further and put very specific labels on groups of people. We all have certain expectations for how the basketball team, band members, nerds, Goths and other groups will act. These stereotypes can sometimes be negative, but there’s not anything inherently wrong with any of these groups. In fact, they can be very empowering. Each group shares a common interest or bond, and the comfort of knowing that you fit in with others gives you confidence and boosts your self-esteem.

For instance, cheerleaders are stereotypically categorized as arrogant, high maintenance females that couldn’t care less about anyone else — except the good-looking jocks — around them. However, the reality is that they aren’t all mean girls. They are active females who share a love for cheering on their schools’ teams, and along the way they develop a deep sense of sisterhood and support. Athletics is another area which often gets a bad rap, but sports often instill the important values of teamwork, leadership and good sportsmanship into teens. Joshua Washington, 17, a senior at Grady High School, says he and senior classmate, Marty Styles, 17, have been on the track team together for almost four years. Prior to a regional tournament, Marty had been contemplating quitting the team. However, Joshua encouraged Marty to not give up. “I wouldn’t have cared, but he’s my friend and a very important part of the track team,” Joshua said. “Every night I called him and told him not to quit. That’s the best advice to give someone.”

Standing Up For What’s Right
The support system from cliques helps us teens to build a high sense of self esteem. Unfortunately Brian Summers, who found himself very alone after doing the right thing on that college tour this summer, didn’t really fit in with any clique. He had no support system, and no one took his decision, or the circumstances, into full consideration.

After receiving threats for his “snitching,” Brian shut down. He chose to leave the trip and quit the program altogether. He was placed on a plane and sent home immediately. The excitement that we all had for the trip quickly died down, and it was replaced with apprehension and regret. I was disappointed that he felt he couldn’t stay. I wish I had done more, that I would have stuck up for him.

When reflecting back on all the times I failed to support the “little guy,” I now take into consideration what I could’ve done differently and the real impact my non- action had. Too often I had given into negative peer pressure rather than step up and exert some positivity. I believe if Brian and others had the type of support system that they needed, they would feel better about themselves and their choice not to give in to negative forces. Brian’s situation has encouraged me to be more assertive when I see negative peer pressure in action rather then to ignore it or let it go. I hope Brian’s example encourages all of us to do the same.

* Name changed to protect privacy.

Raisa is a senior at Mays High who wants to make the world a positive place to live for everybody.