Feasting Off Teasing: How Bullies Give Me Strength

Art by Kamalia Blunt | VOX Staff

By Kamalia Blunt | VOX Staff

Nothing is different between the bullies of my past and the bullies I continue to face. They all seem to find something to tease me about—whether it’s my weight, my hair or my personality. It’s like they all had a meeting when I was born and decided that they were going to try and make my life a living hell. Instead of working on their insecurities, they try to make themselves feel better by tapping into mine. But that was before I realized that their words can’t kill me, they only make me stronger.

Harassment in Class
One day last school year, I walked up the steps to my third period class and let out an exasperated sigh. For the last couple of weeks, three seniors, Alanna*, Patricia* and Simone*, had been having a great time making fun of me. Earlier that month, Patricia had listened in on a True or False game my friend, Charlene* and I were playing to liven up the slowness of that day.
“When I was 14, I stole my dad’s van, took it for a joyride and accidentally hit a tree,” I told Charlene. The statement was false, but Patricia mistook what I said to be true, and afterward told Alanna and Simone about it.
After the teacher lectured for several minutes, she stepped out for a break. In her absence, the jokes began.
“I still can’t believe she said that! I’m still trippin’ over it!” Patricia tried to whisper to Simone and Alanna. They all had a good laugh. My friends who knew why they were laughing shook their heads in disgust. I sat in my seat doing my work with a smile across my face.
I wasn’t smiling because what they said was funny. That smile meant I pitied them. I couldn’t understand why these girls were taking time off their precious lives to care about what I do in mine. These were the same girls who always asked my friends and me if they could copy off our tests, the same girls who would be nice to me when I had something they wanted. They were the ones who were quick to cop an attitude when someone didn’t give them respect. But there they were disrespecting me. I didn’t stress it. I sat back in my desk because I knew I was the better person for not reacting to their sad entertainment. Sadly enough, not everyone in the world reacts the same way.

The Bully Breed
Unfortunately, thousands of teens are faced with bullying everyday. According to statistics from FamilyFirstAid.org, a Web site with help for troubled teens, “Almost 30 percent of teens (or over 5.7 million) in the United States are estimated to be involved in school bullying either as a bully, a target of teen bullying, or both.”
There are many forms of bullying—from verbal and physical to cyber. Harassment escalates, and targets of bullying have been seriously hurt or killed because someone constantly picked on them. Bullies and innocent bystanders have also been harmed as a result of revenge from the target. A prime example of bullying taken to climax is the Virginia Tech massacre that happened in April 2007. According to news reports the Virginia Tech gunman, Cho Seung Hui, had a “hit list” for certain classmates who taunted him to “go back to China.”
The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) is a non-profit organization that exists to stop all forms of bigotry, including bullying. The ADL has connected its mission to schools across the country in a program called No Place for Hate. The No Place for Hate program involves students from elementary to high school in stopping violence and hate in their communities.
According to Bill Nigut, the ADL’s Southeast Regional Director, the organization has never been turned down by any school they’ve asked to promote their message of diversity and acceptance. This is proof that people anywhere can benefit from anti-violence and anti-hate information, and we can all learn to be more understanding of one another.

Surviving Sadness
From elementary to junior high when I was teased in class, I would stare at the clock and wish the school bell would ring.
I often walked home fast to be by myself, so no one would see my tears. When I got there, I’d tear out a sheet of paper and write down all the angry and vengeful things I wanted to say and do to those people who hurt me. Afterward, I’d take the paper and rip it up. I didn’t think that telling someone off would make me feel better, so I retreated to my journal. Unlike bullies, my happiness and joy doesn’t thrive off another’s pain or embarrassment.
One day, I got so tired of being picked on that after I wrote in my journal, I just stared at the sheets of paper. The more I looked at it, the angrier I got. With the paper still in my grasp, I ran to the kitchen. I saw my brother’s lighter on top of the refrigerator and grabbed it. I balled up the pages, lit them on fire, threw them in the sink and watched them burn. I’d had enough.
The fire symbolized that I was burning the old me who took negative actions to heart. From the ashes, I was reborn into a person who refused to give a damn. No more would I succumb to tears and breakdowns when someone said something negative to me. No longer would I be afraid and fearful of those who tried to intimidate me. I decided that I will no longer give in to being the object of anyone’s pitiful idea of amusement. It was about time I stood up, not only for myself, but also for others who didn’t stand up for themselves.

Sticks and Stones
A couple years ago, I would’ve probably sat at my desk and cried my eyes out when I was teased, but now every hurtful thing people say and do to me is food to my motivation. Every time those girls in my third-period class whispered and giggled, it caused me to become more focused. Their words made me a stronger and better person in and out of school. Instead of turning into a bully, I have turned into an ally for other victims.
If you’re being bullied, my suggestion is to never show a bully that he or she can break you. Now, every time someone tries to bully me, I think, Keep ‘em coming. You’re building me up, not breaking me down.

* Names were changed.