Etiquette 101 with Fonzworth Bentley

Photo by Raven Hathcock | VOX STAFFf

By Lauren Phillips, Rueben Buchanan, Jasmine Gallman, Raven Hathcock, and Crissinda Ponder/VOX Staff

In late September, five lucky VOX teen staff members sat with Fonzworth Bentley for an exclusive interview during his book signing at Wordsmiths Books in Decatur. We were excited about meeting the fashionable star who started out as P. Diddy’s personal assistant and is now a hip-hop artist and author.

When we entered the bookstore, the staff led us into a quiet back room where we prepared ourselves for the interview and tried to act overly professional, considering we were going to talk about etiquette.

It wasn’t long before Bentley introduced himself, and we learned about his thoughts on our generation and what inspired him to write his new book, “Advance Your Swagger: How to Use Manners, Confidence and Style to Get Ahead” (Random House Publishing Group).
— Lauren Phillips/VOX Staff

Q: Why did you write this book?

A.This is the golden age of disrespect, and I think our culture really needs a book on etiquette. I wanted to make an etiquette book that was easy to use with pictures that help explain the steps.

Q: Tell us about the title. How did it come about?

A: I think everyone has a little bit of swagger in them. It just needs to be advanced. Swagger to me was undefined. So I decided to define it: Manner + Confidence + Style = Swagger. That’s how I got the title “Advance Your Swagger.”

Q: What inspired you to write a book about etiquette?

A: When I was younger I would use my hand to push food onto my fork … My mother got so fed up with it that she finally told me that if I didn’t stop, she was going to send me to etiquette school for the summer. And that’s exactly where I ended up. My manners, confidence and style have helped me get ahead, so I wanted to write about it.

Q: Who is the main target audience for this book?

A: This book is for anyone who is not comfortable in all social situations.

Q: What bothers you most about our generation today?

A: What bothers me most about this generation is that we’re generally not nice to each other. We don’t take the time to get to know our neighbors. We walk by each other without even saying “Hello.”

Q: What are the top five etiquette rules you think teens should know?

A: Always say “Please” and “Thank you.” They will get you far. Have a pen and paper on you at all times. You never know who you might run into. For guys: Learn how to tie a tie and a bow tie. For girls: Teach guys how to treat you, and expect nothing less. Have patience. Don’t interrupt people when they are talking. Acclimate yourself to a fine dining setting. Knowing simple things, like how to handle your cutlery can make all the difference.
Dos & Don’ts from Bentley’s book:

• If you are the guest, please don’t complain about the food.
• Do not put your elbows on the table while food is present.
• Don’t blow on your soup if it’s too hot ... Let it cool, then put it in your mouth.
• Wait until everyone at your table has been served before you begin eating.
• If you are eating a roll, break off a piece and butter it, then eat one piece at a time.
• Use a toothpick after a meal only in a private place, not while walking out of the restaurant.